To be best placed to help others, you have to help yourself first.

So I'm still off sick, coming to terms with my "disease". And surprisingly I feel a little more up beat. At time of writing. In reality, I'm up and down like one of those round things on a string which go up and down. You know, kids play with 'em.

It's all mostly orientating around my medication issues. Bad times. Very bad times... But that's not what I'm writing about today...

I decided to go to Westminster yesterday for the NASS "sign up for change" campaign. I did it to meet more people in my boat, who feel what I feel. I dragged my wonderful Mother along with me. It was actually quite an eye opener.

I met two very lovely people with AS and they were very friendly and supportive, offering lots of advice and information. They had a couple of family members with them, and also a couple of very nice people who work for NASS came down and joined in.

We all talked a lot and shared some experiences. Well, actually I was a bit quieter than usual and found myself feeling quite withdrawn. I don't think I knew what to make of it once I was there. I found myself again thinking about my Nan a lot. I did open up about some of my feelings and anxieties, in fact I must of appeared to be a bit of a pessimistic moaner. Well, they are two of my main traits recently. They were all very upbeat and friendly and I feel bad for "moaning" about my life now as i think they showed more "physical" symptoms than me whereas I don't have any physical traits of ankylosing spondylitis (at this point in my life) but constantly feel the stiffness and pain.

The main purpose of the day was to raise awareness and try to get people to sign a petition to this end. I got two signatures. A testament to my enthusiasm. Well at least I had a go. It's not as easy at it looks; approaching people and trying to explain a disease I'm still learning about myself then asking them to sign a bit of paper to help raise awareness... Honestly though, I could have done better and wish I had tried.

I'm definitely glad I went. I gained new insight and met more people. I want to help. I want to help the National Ankylosing Spondylitis Society in anyway I can. My adult life has been all about helping others to improve their lives. And this is another cause for me to get involved with. This is something that affects me intimately, and I owe it to myself to do something..... I just don't know what yet. I still have to fight some serious issues in my personal life which are affecting my ability to function to the best of my ability. I need to sort myself out first.

To be best placed to help others, you have to help yourself first.

Thank you to all the new people I met yesterday. You were all so nice, so friendly and so supportive. I hope we shall meet again.

And thank you to my wonderful Mother who is quite simply, the bollox.

Thank you to my children, for giving me youth, and unconditional love.

And last but not least, thank you to amazing wife-to-be, who continues to put up with me being what can only be described as an arsehole.

Night folks.